Dear Gma,
Is January Mid-Winter? If so, that means i only have two more months of the winter doldrums :) I cannot complain though because winter seems wimpy here compared to Alaska, and the winter Alaskans find themselves in this year would
probably have been the end of jim and me. I feel kind of like a giant accident happened on the freeway and we were the last car through before the pile-up. Feeling very lucky to have kicked ourselves out of there when we did; altho, i miss my Alaskalite buddies more than i can say. Thank God for Skype and for e-mail. Certainly not like when you and i had to wait a week, or more, with the old snail mail. I kind of miss letters in the mail though. Most ppl have no idea about the intimacy of personal letters back and forth when people took time out to write to just you. Then, they invested in a stamp; went to the post office; then they smiled when they reached in their mailbox and saw that you answered. I loved our letters back and forth that began when i was in college. I never would have known about letters without you though, so thanks for that Gma of mine :)
This is always a tough time of year for me. I have known several Februaries when i just flew through them, but precious few. Yes, i know it is only January but i am already dreaming about Suzie and wishing i could touch her, and wondering what she looks like now, and if she ever thinks about us or if she can see us; and does she really watch over her brothers like they think she does? The death of my child, for me, always seems fresh, or so it has been for the past thirty-six years. Isn't it odd how something can seem like an eternity ago, but also feel as raw as if it happened yesterday? Such is life though and very doable with the Lord who can give reason to all the tragic episodes of life, if we but trust Him.
Depression has never been part of my make-up. Remember how you used to call me Little Bonnie Foo Foo happily hopping along seeing nothing but the Gma Frieda flowers in your garden? Never paid attention to the weeds; just loved the mystery of it all, amazed that my Gma Frieda could fill my world with such happy colors. I am either happy, sad, or mad: no lukewarm for me i guess. So when the winter doldrums hit me i kind of don't know what to do with them. So i am writing you, like in days of old, and hoping maybe it will help me pass through this next month. a bit more peacefully.
Maybe i will get back to writing my life story. Probably not the best time to be writing about Suzie, but then maybe it will calm me, maybe reassure me that God still guides and protects me and shows up when i most need Him. However, I keep looking at my notes from way back then. I just cannot bring myself to delve into it all yet.
And, how can i write about my walk through my past valley when i feel like am in another over something as inane as this upcoming election? I need to stop, remember, and believe that God knows our danger, loves us still no matter the mess we have gotten ourselves into, and will be with us if we but humble ourselves and pray. I sometimes feel like i do not trust God and i wonder why when He has been so faithful to me. But then i remember that my daughter did not get healed on this earth, and though i KNOW the love He poured on our family throughout all of that, i also know she died, and that i miss her every day.
My conflictive feelings seem to cause this un-productive self-analysis at this time of year. Like i said, I wonder if maybe i really just do not trust God the Father, but it can't be that. It must be more like i might not like His answer, and i just do not want to go through hard stuff even though it means i get to walk much closer with my friend, Jesus. This thing with the country is out of my control too and that is always disconcerting. I pray, and i know i need to repent and be on my knees, but i am not so sure the majority of the rest of the country sees our immorality, nor do they care. I find this a heavy weight on me and just what does God expects of me personally? He told me in Wasilla, " Plant a garden!" So, i moved and so I am :)
During past times of great stress i learned those ragged times buoyed up my faith because God proved to me that i am not a fool to believe in Him. Coming through a really tough situation and emerging victoriously has to be the ultimate high. When i can love and not hate; trust and not fear, laugh and let go i count that as emerging victoriously. You would think after walking through several valleys i would recognize when i am in one, but i never do. It usually takes me a few days and then i open my Bible and re-find my path.
When i get negative, people like you, dear Gma, lift me up and encourage me as i remember your advice, your loving care of me and my soul. You used to show up in letter form in the mailbox, but now somebody calls out of the blue, somebody drops in. Somebody sends me a joke that strikes me so funny i get a good belly laugh. It all helps me to stop looking at life so introspectively. You always said not to dwell on stuff i can do nothing about. sigh.... I'm trying : (
Today i read an article in Newsmax, a daily online newspaper, and there i found encouragement.... it encouraged me that i am not alone in my fears about the country. It seems that out of every three people, two of us fear the present president being reelected. Oddly that calmed me. I was listening to Rush Limbaugh the other morning, mostly because I cannot get Dennis Prager here in Montana. I like Rush because he sends me into hysterical laughter, and i love to laugh. I know that sounds odd but he really is very funny, especially his commercials. The other morning he said to stop listening to the negative stuff about the election. He said it will all turn out fine and not to believe everything we hear. I did not expect to find encouragement from this curmudgeon but he says to just trust the American people. Don't listen to the media. I don't remember hearing him say to trust God, but when you can laugh at the goings on these days, and he seems to, you must be trusting that God will raise up a leader to get us out of this horrific mess. Anyway he was an unlikely source for encouragement, and though i seldom listen to him, i did the other morning, and it encouraged me to perk up and look up.
February for me probably means i should find a project, play more music, walk that treadmill more, go find my girl friends at the Knitting Table, Maybe paint a room or two, lay carpet, chop wood, remodel the whole house, or shovel tons of snow. DO; don't just sit and think. Hey, i should buy a gun and learn to shoot it!!!!!!!!! I have been wanting to do that ever since the cougar began prowling around here. But will they give a gun to a semi-depressed old white-haired woman? Will i have to take a psych test? maybe better not mention the depression stuff. :) I love the felting project i am doing right now, but i think too much while knitting, so will change my tactics and get more physical. It's a long time till February 25th.
Right now, my February Blues don't really fit into any category. I don't know where to put them. I just miss my girl. I just plain want to touch her.... smell her.... hold her.... kiss her hair... touch her freckles... heavy sigh
I know you understand. Thanks for loving me through it all Gma. You know i am fine. As Timothy tells me, " I know in whom i have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to guard that which i have committed unto Him until that day"... that day when i see Him, and her, and you, face to face. All is well and as it should be. It's just a looooong February this year.
You know i love you
your jackie ann aka *j*
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Why am i a Christmas junkie?
Dear Gma
Has Christmas always been my favorite time of year? As far back as i can remember, the answer would be yes. Since moving to Montana i have to say, i LOVE the summers, but I wouldn't want to miss out on Christmas and it would not be the same in the heat of July. I remember one day in July a long time ago i was playing Christmas music on the stereo. Evie Tournquist was belting out, "Come On Ring Those Bells", and i was singing along while cleaning the house, and here comes the Pastor to visit. He said, " Christmas in July?" and i said, " Every day is Christmas with Jesus." No argument there :) Christmas wears some people out, but not me. I wonder why i am like this.
My mom and Christmas: i don't remember any carols playing. I don't remember decorations as a kid. I do remember cut-out cookies though :) I think it actually was a stressful time of year for my folks because buying anything out of the ordinary caused hardship. No lawn decorations. No lights on the house; we did have a tree, but we did not go get it as a family as we always did with our kids. . When our Suzie was about three, mom and i, created a Christmas master plan: Christmas Eve at their house; Christmas day at ours. She told me she had never liked us going to your house on Christmas because it took us away from our toys. I am thinking it took away from family because i remember almost no toys. We kids clamored to get to your house though because the presents were piled way up past the first layer of branches. Christmas was all about the presents. I never remember going to church with family, except always, when i stayed with you and Gpa.
You spoiled us Gma, and i bet my mom did not like that much. However, when she got Gkids she spoiled them rotten most of the time. Christmas at your house meant lots of cousins and all the aunts and uncles and lots of food, noise, and joy. I am sure we went to the maternal grandparent's house, but i don't remember that with the warmth i do yours, Gma. I wonder why you had this affect on me, but not my other Gma. I remember her as stern and bossy and always telling me i could not do this or that. I don't remember you ever telling me no, and that cannot be true. My kids remember Christmas Eve at their grandmother's just like i remember Christmas Day at yours, so she followed your plan, though she constantly reminded us, "...I am no Gma Frieda...". I think i learned to make Christmas fun from both of you.
My mom turned into Super Gma, in some ways, after i started having kids. Suddenly Christmas Eve you would find her playing games with her Gkids laughing and teasing them: very out of character. She baked her cut-out cookies and had this one kind of candy that had a candy crunch center, like in a heath bar, and the outside was chocolate and nuts. She called it Butter Crunch. I think i improved the Cut-Out cookie tradition because i wait for the G-kids to come and we do it together, even sometimes in July! We never had these special holiday goodies though before the G-kids came along that i remember. I must say i had wonderful role models for playing my own role of Grandmother. Some things are just a must for me at Christmas and i wonder where i got these crazy notions.
For instance, Christmas music! I bet you listened to Christmas music because you always had your radio on in the kitchen while you cooked. Me too except i used to have a lot of music on records, but now have it on my computer I-tunes, or I turn the TV to Holiday Music, but i must hear the music or it is just not Christmas for me.
And, for me to have a good Christmas i must go to church on Christmas Eve. I remember Suzie's last Christmas. She had been in the hospital for weeks, but they let her come home for Christmas. Crowds were forbidden (germs), but we worked it out with the Pastor so that all six of us sat right behind the choir, in the fourth row, and we went out the side door right after the service. Suzie looked up at me and said, " Mama it is like singing with angels". I will never forget that Christmas Eve.
Up until about fifteen years ago, we always went on our yearly pilgrimage Christmas tree hunt up in the mountains of Washington/ Oregon to find just the right tree. Then at home, Jim and i always fought over how the lights should go on the tree. Why? No idea, but we always did. After the kids left home there was no point for me, and eventually reality brought a pre-lighted tree into our home (horrors!), but we are none the worse for it, and i think all families should have a day when they sing their way to get the tree and the decorating of it should be an occasion, but maybe that is just me. Once in a while a Christmas would happen where we would find ourselves hunting in a city tree lot, but we still all went. I do so love Christmas trees. I cannot imagine not having one, but probably someday reality will bite again. It all took effort and i am sure i pushed it because i don't see my kids carrying this on.
The one thing they do still seem to want is butterhorns on Christmas morning. This Thanksgiving i taught some of the granddaughters how to make them, but i missed a bet in not teaching my sons. Maybe i can still do that. Think i will send them the recipe. They all love to cook. But bake? Not so much. Maybe they will start after i am gone though. I could go on and on: Christmas cards, angel food cake with candles for Jesus, going caroling, the advent wreath, advent calendars, singing cantatas with the choir, buying and getting special presents, Christmas bazaars and pageants written and produced at home, and ones in church, and the little kid programs for school and church. I only stop celebrating when the time runs out and then i am smiling like a drunk...ah, that reminds me of the Christmas hot buttered rum :)
So, i think i proved i love Christmas with all the trimmings? But why? Has it just been passed down? Or, just an excuse to party? Does it just break up the winter? Jim and i have been watching these sappy Hallmark Christmas movies lately. Why did i stay up till 2 AM the other night watching, " It's a Wonderful Life" and "Miracle on 34th street"? Maybe i really do cherish Family Values and the whole world seems to be with me on that at Christmas time. I know i hate it when the day arrives, then swoosh, it's over! It is the journey to get to the day that i live for, not the day. I think i need psycho analysis to figure out me :)
Merry Christmas Gma and thanks for all the Christmases of my past. I hope you enjoy watching from afar all the joy and fa la la that six Gkids create because it's Christmas at our house. And if anybody asked these Gkids of mine why do we celebrate they know that without the arrival of the Christ child, there would be no such miraculous day. Praise be to God for His infinite wisdom and love for us.And maybe because i so believe that God really does care of each of us, maybe that is what lies behind my obsessive behavior at Christmas.
You know I love you and miss you so much
your
jackie ann aka *j*
Has Christmas always been my favorite time of year? As far back as i can remember, the answer would be yes. Since moving to Montana i have to say, i LOVE the summers, but I wouldn't want to miss out on Christmas and it would not be the same in the heat of July. I remember one day in July a long time ago i was playing Christmas music on the stereo. Evie Tournquist was belting out, "Come On Ring Those Bells", and i was singing along while cleaning the house, and here comes the Pastor to visit. He said, " Christmas in July?" and i said, " Every day is Christmas with Jesus." No argument there :) Christmas wears some people out, but not me. I wonder why i am like this.
My mom and Christmas: i don't remember any carols playing. I don't remember decorations as a kid. I do remember cut-out cookies though :) I think it actually was a stressful time of year for my folks because buying anything out of the ordinary caused hardship. No lawn decorations. No lights on the house; we did have a tree, but we did not go get it as a family as we always did with our kids. . When our Suzie was about three, mom and i, created a Christmas master plan: Christmas Eve at their house; Christmas day at ours. She told me she had never liked us going to your house on Christmas because it took us away from our toys. I am thinking it took away from family because i remember almost no toys. We kids clamored to get to your house though because the presents were piled way up past the first layer of branches. Christmas was all about the presents. I never remember going to church with family, except always, when i stayed with you and Gpa.
You spoiled us Gma, and i bet my mom did not like that much. However, when she got Gkids she spoiled them rotten most of the time. Christmas at your house meant lots of cousins and all the aunts and uncles and lots of food, noise, and joy. I am sure we went to the maternal grandparent's house, but i don't remember that with the warmth i do yours, Gma. I wonder why you had this affect on me, but not my other Gma. I remember her as stern and bossy and always telling me i could not do this or that. I don't remember you ever telling me no, and that cannot be true. My kids remember Christmas Eve at their grandmother's just like i remember Christmas Day at yours, so she followed your plan, though she constantly reminded us, "...I am no Gma Frieda...". I think i learned to make Christmas fun from both of you.
My mom turned into Super Gma, in some ways, after i started having kids. Suddenly Christmas Eve you would find her playing games with her Gkids laughing and teasing them: very out of character. She baked her cut-out cookies and had this one kind of candy that had a candy crunch center, like in a heath bar, and the outside was chocolate and nuts. She called it Butter Crunch. I think i improved the Cut-Out cookie tradition because i wait for the G-kids to come and we do it together, even sometimes in July! We never had these special holiday goodies though before the G-kids came along that i remember. I must say i had wonderful role models for playing my own role of Grandmother. Some things are just a must for me at Christmas and i wonder where i got these crazy notions.
For instance, Christmas music! I bet you listened to Christmas music because you always had your radio on in the kitchen while you cooked. Me too except i used to have a lot of music on records, but now have it on my computer I-tunes, or I turn the TV to Holiday Music, but i must hear the music or it is just not Christmas for me.
And, for me to have a good Christmas i must go to church on Christmas Eve. I remember Suzie's last Christmas. She had been in the hospital for weeks, but they let her come home for Christmas. Crowds were forbidden (germs), but we worked it out with the Pastor so that all six of us sat right behind the choir, in the fourth row, and we went out the side door right after the service. Suzie looked up at me and said, " Mama it is like singing with angels". I will never forget that Christmas Eve.
Up until about fifteen years ago, we always went on our yearly pilgrimage Christmas tree hunt up in the mountains of Washington/ Oregon to find just the right tree. Then at home, Jim and i always fought over how the lights should go on the tree. Why? No idea, but we always did. After the kids left home there was no point for me, and eventually reality brought a pre-lighted tree into our home (horrors!), but we are none the worse for it, and i think all families should have a day when they sing their way to get the tree and the decorating of it should be an occasion, but maybe that is just me. Once in a while a Christmas would happen where we would find ourselves hunting in a city tree lot, but we still all went. I do so love Christmas trees. I cannot imagine not having one, but probably someday reality will bite again. It all took effort and i am sure i pushed it because i don't see my kids carrying this on.
The one thing they do still seem to want is butterhorns on Christmas morning. This Thanksgiving i taught some of the granddaughters how to make them, but i missed a bet in not teaching my sons. Maybe i can still do that. Think i will send them the recipe. They all love to cook. But bake? Not so much. Maybe they will start after i am gone though. I could go on and on: Christmas cards, angel food cake with candles for Jesus, going caroling, the advent wreath, advent calendars, singing cantatas with the choir, buying and getting special presents, Christmas bazaars and pageants written and produced at home, and ones in church, and the little kid programs for school and church. I only stop celebrating when the time runs out and then i am smiling like a drunk...ah, that reminds me of the Christmas hot buttered rum :)
So, i think i proved i love Christmas with all the trimmings? But why? Has it just been passed down? Or, just an excuse to party? Does it just break up the winter? Jim and i have been watching these sappy Hallmark Christmas movies lately. Why did i stay up till 2 AM the other night watching, " It's a Wonderful Life" and "Miracle on 34th street"? Maybe i really do cherish Family Values and the whole world seems to be with me on that at Christmas time. I know i hate it when the day arrives, then swoosh, it's over! It is the journey to get to the day that i live for, not the day. I think i need psycho analysis to figure out me :)
Merry Christmas Gma and thanks for all the Christmases of my past. I hope you enjoy watching from afar all the joy and fa la la that six Gkids create because it's Christmas at our house. And if anybody asked these Gkids of mine why do we celebrate they know that without the arrival of the Christ child, there would be no such miraculous day. Praise be to God for His infinite wisdom and love for us.And maybe because i so believe that God really does care of each of us, maybe that is what lies behind my obsessive behavior at Christmas.
You know I love you and miss you so much
your
jackie ann aka *j*
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Pigs in a pen: or not
Dear Gma
While we wait for the snowstorm this evening, i thought i would tell you about the pigs and how they fare on this mini-farm, or maybe it is how we fare with them :)
The kids have moved to their own farm on the other side of town and almost have all their stuff over there, but we still have the pigs and Bo, the Golden Lab. Janell has a line on getting some other chickens, so i guess the ones here will be ours. Probably a good thing since jim refers to them as his " girls". He refered to his lady employees at Penneys the same way, so maybe he is going back in time. It all sounds so familiar :) Anyhow things here have slowed down considerably without all the young ppl. Beginning to look more and more like just our
house, and it still feels like we have been here most of our life, certainly not just five months.
So, we do chores in the morning. Sometimes i do them, more and more though jim does because i dislike the cold weather and he is too good to me. I do always feed the three dogs though. :) So anyhow, Jim opens the gate to the pig-pen to take
the pigs their feed for the day. By this time, he
figures they are old friends and will just circle the pot to retrieve their food. Wrong! Oh, so wrong! Out the gate they go. He is dumbfounded.
He comes in and tells me to come help him corral them back into the pen. bawahahahaha :) Oh, this is rich :) Two seventy years olds chasing pigs! What
is wrong with this picture. Hysterical, yes it was.
I grabbed a dog leash thinking that might help us a little bit. After all the little ten year olds picked the pigs up less than a month ago at the birthday party.
We were told by the pig expert, janell, that you need to prod them with sticks and you have to let them lead ? No, that was not it. They would
not go back into a pen themselves. I forget, but she told us later you cannot pull them on a rope ???? Well, we learned that but not how you should
do it i guess. I am thinking a whole lot more ppl than just two of us might have worked better.
We did get them into the horses' Roundpen and i thought we were home free then, and i tried to get the dog leash around Rosie's chubby, much larger than a month ago, neck but she didn't like that at all. She screamed bloody murder and Lordy she scared me! Still i persevered and finally managed to sort of have her in the make-shift collar, but she ran away from me and she was
so strong i fell on my butt trying to hold her, and i just could not control her at all. All righty then... i see the hay bales and i am thinking we should just block the other gate and leave them in the Round Pen till help comes, but no, my husband has a lasso and he is determined to hog-tie, tee hee, the beast around the belly. Using his best boy scout knot, he manages, with my reluctant help.... I was scared Ham was going to bite us to tell the truth, and Rosie kept trying to free Ham/Bacon... to get the rope around the belly. And he wants me to open the gate to the Roundpen!!!! I am resisting with commonsense advice like, " You can't hold him! He is too strong!!!" But no, he knows all and so i open the gate because jim is getting a bit miffed at ME in his frustration. And now he wants to let these pigs out of a confined area. Made little sense to me, but i am a dutiful wife if nothing else. :)
We have about thirty yards maybe across the field and back to the other pen. That pig is screaming like an eagle after prey in a field, no, way worse than that. I have never heard anything like the ruckus that pig created. I was sure the neighbors would call the police. And, that pig would not move except to twist and turn and then.... out of the lasso around the belly and he is free free free! AND, Rosie has been right next to him the whole time trying to bite at the lasso to free her pig-partner-in-crime. They cavort away :(
So, jim and i get our sticks and try to keep them in the pasture as we clumsily herd them to their lovely fenced yard. Those two pigs ran us two old ppl all over that pasture, but by golly we kept them out of the road, out of the neighbors yards, and in the upper yard. I tried to tempt them with their food, but they wanted none. I finally got a bucket of scraps from the house and called piggy piggy piggy and shook it and got Rosie's attention. jim prodded her and eventually in she went. Well of course Ham/ Bacon wanted in too, but he could not find the gate. I cannot believe how dumb these animals are. I heard they were smarter than ppl give them credit for. Well, maybe if you spend a lot of time training them, but that would not be me.... not ever :) The next morning both of us moaned and groaned as we tried to get out of bed. OMG! We laughed at ourselves and our whineyness.
They had a really nice house down in the regular garden where we had housed them. They returned the favor of a great place to reside by rototilling our garden. You will find not a weed in our garden and they plowed it to the best of their abilities, which i found admirable. But, they got out of there somehow, so we stashed them up in the smaller garden up by the house.
They will soon move over to Chris and Janell's. We will miss all the excitement they bring most every day. However, We won't even open the gate to their abode. I climb up on the wheel barrow and dump their food over the fence into their feeder bowls, which they move all over the place so this is never easy. We built a shelter in there with hay bales. Today they must have been tussling around and they knocked the bales out from under the plywood roof and it looked like the wolf had visited the Three Little Pigs! Janell is just going to love having these unpredictable beasts. I hope their pen is tough because man their strength is surprising and all they have to do is scratch against a post and it thinks about bending. I cannot imagine what they will be like when they are three months older. Holy Schmolies!
Anyhow, that was a Day in the Life of the Heights Road Wolfeden where it is never dull. I am hoping the 8 inches of snow that falls tonight will slow us down. We did go to the store and stock up but we did not get diesel for the tractor but most likely we will be fine. Actually 8 inches is not all that much by Alaskan standards. But, up by Kalispell they did get 2 feet last night. Seems like those clouds should be all snowed out so maybe it will come back some other day.
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving and when you are eating that ham think about our Ham, or Bacon as i sometimes call him, and Rosie, of course, and the sacrifice they made on your behalf. :) And, don't even remind me about the turkeys who invaded our property in Eastern Oregon. Maybe i will become a vegetarian :)
You know i love you Gma
your
jackie ann aka *j*
While we wait for the snowstorm this evening, i thought i would tell you about the pigs and how they fare on this mini-farm, or maybe it is how we fare with them :)
The kids have moved to their own farm on the other side of town and almost have all their stuff over there, but we still have the pigs and Bo, the Golden Lab. Janell has a line on getting some other chickens, so i guess the ones here will be ours. Probably a good thing since jim refers to them as his " girls". He refered to his lady employees at Penneys the same way, so maybe he is going back in time. It all sounds so familiar :) Anyhow things here have slowed down considerably without all the young ppl. Beginning to look more and more like just our
house, and it still feels like we have been here most of our life, certainly not just five months.
So, we do chores in the morning. Sometimes i do them, more and more though jim does because i dislike the cold weather and he is too good to me. I do always feed the three dogs though. :) So anyhow, Jim opens the gate to the pig-pen to take
the pigs their feed for the day. By this time, he
figures they are old friends and will just circle the pot to retrieve their food. Wrong! Oh, so wrong! Out the gate they go. He is dumbfounded.
He comes in and tells me to come help him corral them back into the pen. bawahahahaha :) Oh, this is rich :) Two seventy years olds chasing pigs! What
is wrong with this picture. Hysterical, yes it was.
I grabbed a dog leash thinking that might help us a little bit. After all the little ten year olds picked the pigs up less than a month ago at the birthday party.
We were told by the pig expert, janell, that you need to prod them with sticks and you have to let them lead ? No, that was not it. They would
not go back into a pen themselves. I forget, but she told us later you cannot pull them on a rope ???? Well, we learned that but not how you should
do it i guess. I am thinking a whole lot more ppl than just two of us might have worked better.
We did get them into the horses' Roundpen and i thought we were home free then, and i tried to get the dog leash around Rosie's chubby, much larger than a month ago, neck but she didn't like that at all. She screamed bloody murder and Lordy she scared me! Still i persevered and finally managed to sort of have her in the make-shift collar, but she ran away from me and she was
so strong i fell on my butt trying to hold her, and i just could not control her at all. All righty then... i see the hay bales and i am thinking we should just block the other gate and leave them in the Round Pen till help comes, but no, my husband has a lasso and he is determined to hog-tie, tee hee, the beast around the belly. Using his best boy scout knot, he manages, with my reluctant help.... I was scared Ham was going to bite us to tell the truth, and Rosie kept trying to free Ham/Bacon... to get the rope around the belly. And he wants me to open the gate to the Roundpen!!!! I am resisting with commonsense advice like, " You can't hold him! He is too strong!!!" But no, he knows all and so i open the gate because jim is getting a bit miffed at ME in his frustration. And now he wants to let these pigs out of a confined area. Made little sense to me, but i am a dutiful wife if nothing else. :)
We have about thirty yards maybe across the field and back to the other pen. That pig is screaming like an eagle after prey in a field, no, way worse than that. I have never heard anything like the ruckus that pig created. I was sure the neighbors would call the police. And, that pig would not move except to twist and turn and then.... out of the lasso around the belly and he is free free free! AND, Rosie has been right next to him the whole time trying to bite at the lasso to free her pig-partner-in-crime. They cavort away :(
So, jim and i get our sticks and try to keep them in the pasture as we clumsily herd them to their lovely fenced yard. Those two pigs ran us two old ppl all over that pasture, but by golly we kept them out of the road, out of the neighbors yards, and in the upper yard. I tried to tempt them with their food, but they wanted none. I finally got a bucket of scraps from the house and called piggy piggy piggy and shook it and got Rosie's attention. jim prodded her and eventually in she went. Well of course Ham/ Bacon wanted in too, but he could not find the gate. I cannot believe how dumb these animals are. I heard they were smarter than ppl give them credit for. Well, maybe if you spend a lot of time training them, but that would not be me.... not ever :) The next morning both of us moaned and groaned as we tried to get out of bed. OMG! We laughed at ourselves and our whineyness.
They had a really nice house down in the regular garden where we had housed them. They returned the favor of a great place to reside by rototilling our garden. You will find not a weed in our garden and they plowed it to the best of their abilities, which i found admirable. But, they got out of there somehow, so we stashed them up in the smaller garden up by the house.
They will soon move over to Chris and Janell's. We will miss all the excitement they bring most every day. However, We won't even open the gate to their abode. I climb up on the wheel barrow and dump their food over the fence into their feeder bowls, which they move all over the place so this is never easy. We built a shelter in there with hay bales. Today they must have been tussling around and they knocked the bales out from under the plywood roof and it looked like the wolf had visited the Three Little Pigs! Janell is just going to love having these unpredictable beasts. I hope their pen is tough because man their strength is surprising and all they have to do is scratch against a post and it thinks about bending. I cannot imagine what they will be like when they are three months older. Holy Schmolies!
Anyhow, that was a Day in the Life of the Heights Road Wolfeden where it is never dull. I am hoping the 8 inches of snow that falls tonight will slow us down. We did go to the store and stock up but we did not get diesel for the tractor but most likely we will be fine. Actually 8 inches is not all that much by Alaskan standards. But, up by Kalispell they did get 2 feet last night. Seems like those clouds should be all snowed out so maybe it will come back some other day.
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving and when you are eating that ham think about our Ham, or Bacon as i sometimes call him, and Rosie, of course, and the sacrifice they made on your behalf. :) And, don't even remind me about the turkeys who invaded our property in Eastern Oregon. Maybe i will become a vegetarian :)
You know i love you Gma
your
jackie ann aka *j*
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Changes are a comin
Dear Gma,
Nothing stays the same ever, and accepting change becomes harder as age creeps up on you. I wondered about this before we ever moved to this mountain town, but i feel like change keeps us younger because we must stay a part of the action, as compared to just sitting back and watching the parade roll by. I suppose an argument exists for just watching the parade, but my life is more like that Dixie Flyer ( to quote Travis Tritt), and i just never resist a ride, much to my husband's chagrin. This new change? The kids are moving to the other side of town.
So, we moved to this property because i fell in love with it on the internet, and we had all the plans set as to how all nine of us would live happily ever after right here, but living in two different houses, you understand. I envisioned children on my knee and jim saw himself building toys in his workshop. But, as somebody once said, "... men plan while the gods laugh..." I thought about this when the underwriters told us we had to tear down the house they were to live in. However, we keep moving: sometimes forward, sometimes back, and sometimes a bit more laterally.
We lived a great summer here, and i have no doubt winter will just bring more wonderful life, but the kids are going to move to their own property, so they can, "...have more space..." I can certainly understand that. In the summer, five kids can be shooed outside and they can find their " spaces" and create their little reality games, and basically just thrive, but in the winter, in a one room cabin in the basement, well,i myself, would find it nearly impossible to survive.
Janell has always talked about the wonders of living in a one room cabin though, and though she and i differ greatly in what makes us content, i thought she could do it, and maybe out in the deep woods, alone, she could have. I have been so content with them coming and going. I love their noises...well, most of them, lol, and i love listening to all the kids work their way through what life throws at them. However, multi-generational families, like the Waltons, living in the same house ended for some reason because you seldom hear about it anymore, and when you do, it usually ends ugly. So, for me, doing this grand adventure kind of balanced out with a bit of fear and trepidation. I still can barely believe we tried it, especially with the one house scenario, and imo, we have pushed this situation beyond what any of us thought possible. It is not like we all perfectly mesh personality wise. I give a lot of credit to the fact we are all praying people. That one action probably carried us through the last five months of relative harmonious living.
I think we are a lot like the Waltons, in many ways, but the Walton show dealt more with the kids than the adults. We watched the young dad struggling, but never much about the older generation. They simply tagged along never interfering and always content and jolly. ( well that might be pushing it for the Gma :). Those older folks never offended anyone and everyone just went along making their way in life doing the best they could with what they were given and giving thanks for even the meagerness of it all. And, so have we, but facing winter, reality feels like maybe we are too close for comfort, and above all, our relationships need to be protected from the devil playing with our individual needs and greeds. Yesterday as i read in the Bible, searching for peace as they plan their move away from us, God again gave me a verse to hang onto. Why does He do that with me? I know the verses i get might be out of context but they always just fit so perfectly. This has been going on for forty years of my life. Let me tell you how this happened this time.
I am sitting in the car while jim went into the store and there sits my Bible on the seat and i said, " Lord i need peace in all this. I need to not worry and i need to not grieve their leaving, and i reach for my falling apart Bible one more time. I open it and i read, "...For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one, and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall..." (Ephesians 2:14) AMAZING isn't it? I am so grateful that my Lord and i have this way of communicating. This is why the Bible means everything to me. It all started way back when i found the verse, " ... It is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives within me..." and since i did not want to live anymore, i thought, " why not..." and so it has gone over all these years. Even in the little things this often works for me; although, i would not call these kids moving out a little thing for me, but i know i can trust that this is best for all of us because we all are praying people and in this way we stay close to His Will.
So, the Younger Wolfeden has found a place where they can spread out a bit... 18 acres... so the horses, chickens, pigs, dogs, and kids will be leaving and can't you just feel the hole in life they will leave behind? If you listen, you hear.... nothing... if you look, you see not much , but maybe the smells will reveal a life continued in sweet fashion .... maybe you might smell bread baking again or cookies, and oh yes, the smell of live chickens albeit, different ones, as we old people readjust. God is so good. Let's go with the flow and see how it all works out. My gosh they will only be across town! It's been feeling like another state away, but that will change as we settle in, don'tcha think? :) Just thought i would update you. I know you understand.
You know i love you,
your
jackie ann
Nothing stays the same ever, and accepting change becomes harder as age creeps up on you. I wondered about this before we ever moved to this mountain town, but i feel like change keeps us younger because we must stay a part of the action, as compared to just sitting back and watching the parade roll by. I suppose an argument exists for just watching the parade, but my life is more like that Dixie Flyer ( to quote Travis Tritt), and i just never resist a ride, much to my husband's chagrin. This new change? The kids are moving to the other side of town.
So, we moved to this property because i fell in love with it on the internet, and we had all the plans set as to how all nine of us would live happily ever after right here, but living in two different houses, you understand. I envisioned children on my knee and jim saw himself building toys in his workshop. But, as somebody once said, "... men plan while the gods laugh..." I thought about this when the underwriters told us we had to tear down the house they were to live in. However, we keep moving: sometimes forward, sometimes back, and sometimes a bit more laterally.
We lived a great summer here, and i have no doubt winter will just bring more wonderful life, but the kids are going to move to their own property, so they can, "...have more space..." I can certainly understand that. In the summer, five kids can be shooed outside and they can find their " spaces" and create their little reality games, and basically just thrive, but in the winter, in a one room cabin in the basement, well,i myself, would find it nearly impossible to survive.
Janell has always talked about the wonders of living in a one room cabin though, and though she and i differ greatly in what makes us content, i thought she could do it, and maybe out in the deep woods, alone, she could have. I have been so content with them coming and going. I love their noises...well, most of them, lol, and i love listening to all the kids work their way through what life throws at them. However, multi-generational families, like the Waltons, living in the same house ended for some reason because you seldom hear about it anymore, and when you do, it usually ends ugly. So, for me, doing this grand adventure kind of balanced out with a bit of fear and trepidation. I still can barely believe we tried it, especially with the one house scenario, and imo, we have pushed this situation beyond what any of us thought possible. It is not like we all perfectly mesh personality wise. I give a lot of credit to the fact we are all praying people. That one action probably carried us through the last five months of relative harmonious living.
I think we are a lot like the Waltons, in many ways, but the Walton show dealt more with the kids than the adults. We watched the young dad struggling, but never much about the older generation. They simply tagged along never interfering and always content and jolly. ( well that might be pushing it for the Gma :). Those older folks never offended anyone and everyone just went along making their way in life doing the best they could with what they were given and giving thanks for even the meagerness of it all. And, so have we, but facing winter, reality feels like maybe we are too close for comfort, and above all, our relationships need to be protected from the devil playing with our individual needs and greeds. Yesterday as i read in the Bible, searching for peace as they plan their move away from us, God again gave me a verse to hang onto. Why does He do that with me? I know the verses i get might be out of context but they always just fit so perfectly. This has been going on for forty years of my life. Let me tell you how this happened this time.
I am sitting in the car while jim went into the store and there sits my Bible on the seat and i said, " Lord i need peace in all this. I need to not worry and i need to not grieve their leaving, and i reach for my falling apart Bible one more time. I open it and i read, "...For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one, and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall..." (Ephesians 2:14) AMAZING isn't it? I am so grateful that my Lord and i have this way of communicating. This is why the Bible means everything to me. It all started way back when i found the verse, " ... It is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives within me..." and since i did not want to live anymore, i thought, " why not..." and so it has gone over all these years. Even in the little things this often works for me; although, i would not call these kids moving out a little thing for me, but i know i can trust that this is best for all of us because we all are praying people and in this way we stay close to His Will.
So, the Younger Wolfeden has found a place where they can spread out a bit... 18 acres... so the horses, chickens, pigs, dogs, and kids will be leaving and can't you just feel the hole in life they will leave behind? If you listen, you hear.... nothing... if you look, you see not much , but maybe the smells will reveal a life continued in sweet fashion .... maybe you might smell bread baking again or cookies, and oh yes, the smell of live chickens albeit, different ones, as we old people readjust. God is so good. Let's go with the flow and see how it all works out. My gosh they will only be across town! It's been feeling like another state away, but that will change as we settle in, don'tcha think? :) Just thought i would update you. I know you understand.
You know i love you,
your
jackie ann
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Never a dull moment
Dear Gma,
My gosh what a day! What a weekend! What a month! Been awhile since i have caught you up on life at the Montana Wolfeden, so guess i better get started. I already have forgotten most of what has happened this month. I think the last time i wrote you the chickens were laying eggs and we didn't know if Baby James' eyes would be blue or brown. Well, the eyes get browner every day, but the chickens have revolted and have quit laying. We think the cold weather has contributed to this, so a new coup has been planned and will be implemented soon.
Yesterday Jacob turned eleven. He has never had anything but a family birthday party, so this year we decided to give it a shot. Not sure how many kids came, but nine were invited and one did not come, but a couple brought siblings and some parents stayed. The weather has been cold and foggy for days, but not today. Kenzie must have prayed for the weather because it was cool, crisp and sunny. A drop dead gorgeous Fall day. But, the birthday was actually yesterday and it started at five AM when Chris and kenzie went to pick up sister jaylene on Amtrak.
Jaylene, (17 year old), now lives in Spokane, so lives just a few hours away. Did i tell you she passed her GED? Absolutely amazing, and i am so proud of her. She is now working as a nanny so has her room and board and gets a small salary besides. She snuck in and slept in the guest bed, and we did not tell the other four kids she was here. At noon, she took jacob's birthday cupcakes to lunch and all the kids saw her and went crazy! They all love her so very much. We all do.
After school we took Jake to get his birthday present...shoes :) Man, his feet are growing so fast, and he is having trouble with his voice. Think his voice could be getting ready to change already at eleven? He is so dang cute. Such a joy too. Always has been.
So, the house became very loud with jaylene here. Funny how one more kid can do that, but maybe it is just her and the tickling that accompanies her. haha
This morning we began the day about 7:30 with a cup of coffee and the frying of the hamburger for the bean soup that needed to be ready by one. Then off we went to the 9AM soccer game.
We so enjoy watching jacob play soccer. I don't know if it has been the wonderful weather, the no bugs or the beautiful mountains in the background,but soccer season just made this Fall even more enjoyable. Or maybe watching jake dominate any team he plays just makes us bust our buttons, while we all try to stay humble, and keep jake humble.
Today was no different. The refs never showed up so Chris reffed and the game seemed quieter :) The other team did not have enough players, so we gave them a few, and at one time jake even got a goal for them when his coach switched him to the other team ! I lost track of his goals, and i thought it pretty awesome when the coach did this. Jacob knew all the kids on the other team, goes to school with most of them, so he was right at home with them. It was like four to nothing at that point and so his scoring even one goal made all things seem possible. They did play well, but just could not keep the ball away from him. Finally the coach put him in at goalie, which he loves to play, but we all hate it because we love watching him pass the ball and steal it and burst out of a bunch of a kids with his foot kicking the ball. I will miss watching him. All three kids played wonderful soccer this summer. I do miss Hannah sitting on the field and picking posies though. Now she is as aggressive as her brothers and she made the only goals for her team this year, but at this point in her life a soccer ball does not call her name as much as ballet slippers, so her girly candle still safely shines, but some days i wonder for how long.
So, we get home from that and kick it into gear for the company coming at one. Yikes...cooking, cleaning up a bit, and setting up the different play stations outside. And before we knew it the cars began to come.
Jim and Chris started a fire in the pit down below, so if ppl got chilly they could gather around the fire, but the boys ran for three hours; most were sweating. The parents and we grandparents enjoyed it though.:) In the front yard though, the boys started off with roping the bull head!
Jake got a fake bull head for his birthday and it was mounted on some hay bales sitting on the back of the 4-wheeler. One of the moms seems to know all about roping, and had several ropes, and they gave jake several for his birthday! Anyhow, she gave the kids, who needed it, roping lessons. That was about all of them i would say. The winner of the roping contest, and most of the other contests got large candy bars for prizes. They loved the challenge and the reward!
So, after the roping they moved down the hill to the bebee gun can-shooting station. Boys/guns... they loved it! And the cans were set up in front of a hill...just a perfect situation. A neighbor had loaned us a couple of bebee guns and he, and his wife, and his grandkids ( one in jakes class at school and one in Kenzie's class and one in Caleb or Hannah's class... all were here.) They live just down the road from us, and it was so nice to finally meet John and Sherry. Anyhow, John helped the kids with their shooting prowess, but muy Gkids needed no help. I am amazed at the manliness of my grandsons. Caleb is only 8 and he held his own with all the eleven year olds!! And not with just guns, but also with the bow and arrow contest which they moved onto next! The kids just loved all of it and can you blame them! Two of the kids asked if they could move in with us!! It was boy heaven down there this afternoon, but it was not over. After a winner was established for the bow and arrow contest, we all moved up to the deck where Chris had hot dogs all cooked on the grill. We brought out the salad, soup, chips, and cake and ice cream and pigged out....which brings me to last but not least....the greased pig contest!!!
Janell had told the mothers to dress their kids in grubbies or send some clothes to change into. Some of the parents really wanted to enter into this fun too, but that did not happen.
I probably have not told any of you that we have added two wiener pigs to the mix here. Oh yes. Rosie and Bacon! which one do you think will be sacrificed for meat and which will be having babies and be a 4-H project for jake? lol Anyhow, Wilbur will not survive this pig yard. :(
Kenzie and a friend greased Bacon and put him into the cage that he and his friend Rosie had fit easily into when they came about two weeks ago. I took a picture of him sitting in the small dog pen and he barely fits alone: no way could he and Rosie both fit in there now ! We drug out all of the Extra Tuff boots, and Kenzie's friend, Ally, dawned the old Coast Guard overalls and into the horse round pen everybody went. Chris let Bacon out and about twelve kids descended on him and did he ever run. They grabbed, he escaped. He seemed to enjoy it to tell the truth. The girls turned out to be the winners! The kids enjoyed it so much they let the pig go again and the race was on again. At one point, he squirted out of about six kids who had all piled on top of each other. Pig pile anyone :) I did video tape it and if i can will put it on here. If i cannot and you want to see it, let me know and i will try to attach it, but i am a bit tech-challenged One mom left her flip video camera though and kenzie was supposed to videotape it on that, but how could she when she could not resist and joined in the fun.
What a birthday!!!!! Chris said that Jake could do this same party through high school, and beyond. Apparently boys just grow into men in body only. No big shocker there. :) What a day!
And, the baby slept through it all. Jaylene and i played baby tag with Baby James and he slept in his little bassinet all three hours! During the pig chase janell put him in his baby wrap, so he was there with her...still slept through it all. The only time he has trouble sleeping is when it is too quiet. Such a good baby.
Will try to write more often. Part of the problem in not chattering on here with you is i have begun to write my book. Want me to put it on here? Not sure there is really interest in my past life, which i am basically writing for my family, and then mostly for future family. When they talk about me and wonder how i ever survived the death of my child, when children pretty much define me, i want them to know it was not easy, and it is only by the Grace of God that i did survive such a challenge. Seems like going forward would be a whole lot more interesting than my life before, and certainly not as heavy on the heart to read. So, if you want me to, let me know. If there is enough interest out of the six of you who read this drivel i will. Otherwise, i will just keep on here about kids and animals.
Well, lets try some pics. Nope...will put them on Fb i guess. The pig video turned out great if it will transfer for me.
You know i love you
*j* aka jackie ann
My gosh what a day! What a weekend! What a month! Been awhile since i have caught you up on life at the Montana Wolfeden, so guess i better get started. I already have forgotten most of what has happened this month. I think the last time i wrote you the chickens were laying eggs and we didn't know if Baby James' eyes would be blue or brown. Well, the eyes get browner every day, but the chickens have revolted and have quit laying. We think the cold weather has contributed to this, so a new coup has been planned and will be implemented soon.
Yesterday Jacob turned eleven. He has never had anything but a family birthday party, so this year we decided to give it a shot. Not sure how many kids came, but nine were invited and one did not come, but a couple brought siblings and some parents stayed. The weather has been cold and foggy for days, but not today. Kenzie must have prayed for the weather because it was cool, crisp and sunny. A drop dead gorgeous Fall day. But, the birthday was actually yesterday and it started at five AM when Chris and kenzie went to pick up sister jaylene on Amtrak.
Jaylene, (17 year old), now lives in Spokane, so lives just a few hours away. Did i tell you she passed her GED? Absolutely amazing, and i am so proud of her. She is now working as a nanny so has her room and board and gets a small salary besides. She snuck in and slept in the guest bed, and we did not tell the other four kids she was here. At noon, she took jacob's birthday cupcakes to lunch and all the kids saw her and went crazy! They all love her so very much. We all do.
After school we took Jake to get his birthday present...shoes :) Man, his feet are growing so fast, and he is having trouble with his voice. Think his voice could be getting ready to change already at eleven? He is so dang cute. Such a joy too. Always has been.
So, the house became very loud with jaylene here. Funny how one more kid can do that, but maybe it is just her and the tickling that accompanies her. haha
This morning we began the day about 7:30 with a cup of coffee and the frying of the hamburger for the bean soup that needed to be ready by one. Then off we went to the 9AM soccer game.
We so enjoy watching jacob play soccer. I don't know if it has been the wonderful weather, the no bugs or the beautiful mountains in the background,but soccer season just made this Fall even more enjoyable. Or maybe watching jake dominate any team he plays just makes us bust our buttons, while we all try to stay humble, and keep jake humble.
Today was no different. The refs never showed up so Chris reffed and the game seemed quieter :) The other team did not have enough players, so we gave them a few, and at one time jake even got a goal for them when his coach switched him to the other team ! I lost track of his goals, and i thought it pretty awesome when the coach did this. Jacob knew all the kids on the other team, goes to school with most of them, so he was right at home with them. It was like four to nothing at that point and so his scoring even one goal made all things seem possible. They did play well, but just could not keep the ball away from him. Finally the coach put him in at goalie, which he loves to play, but we all hate it because we love watching him pass the ball and steal it and burst out of a bunch of a kids with his foot kicking the ball. I will miss watching him. All three kids played wonderful soccer this summer. I do miss Hannah sitting on the field and picking posies though. Now she is as aggressive as her brothers and she made the only goals for her team this year, but at this point in her life a soccer ball does not call her name as much as ballet slippers, so her girly candle still safely shines, but some days i wonder for how long.
So, we get home from that and kick it into gear for the company coming at one. Yikes...cooking, cleaning up a bit, and setting up the different play stations outside. And before we knew it the cars began to come.
Jim and Chris started a fire in the pit down below, so if ppl got chilly they could gather around the fire, but the boys ran for three hours; most were sweating. The parents and we grandparents enjoyed it though.:) In the front yard though, the boys started off with roping the bull head!
Jake got a fake bull head for his birthday and it was mounted on some hay bales sitting on the back of the 4-wheeler. One of the moms seems to know all about roping, and had several ropes, and they gave jake several for his birthday! Anyhow, she gave the kids, who needed it, roping lessons. That was about all of them i would say. The winner of the roping contest, and most of the other contests got large candy bars for prizes. They loved the challenge and the reward!
So, after the roping they moved down the hill to the bebee gun can-shooting station. Boys/guns... they loved it! And the cans were set up in front of a hill...just a perfect situation. A neighbor had loaned us a couple of bebee guns and he, and his wife, and his grandkids ( one in jakes class at school and one in Kenzie's class and one in Caleb or Hannah's class... all were here.) They live just down the road from us, and it was so nice to finally meet John and Sherry. Anyhow, John helped the kids with their shooting prowess, but muy Gkids needed no help. I am amazed at the manliness of my grandsons. Caleb is only 8 and he held his own with all the eleven year olds!! And not with just guns, but also with the bow and arrow contest which they moved onto next! The kids just loved all of it and can you blame them! Two of the kids asked if they could move in with us!! It was boy heaven down there this afternoon, but it was not over. After a winner was established for the bow and arrow contest, we all moved up to the deck where Chris had hot dogs all cooked on the grill. We brought out the salad, soup, chips, and cake and ice cream and pigged out....which brings me to last but not least....the greased pig contest!!!
Janell had told the mothers to dress their kids in grubbies or send some clothes to change into. Some of the parents really wanted to enter into this fun too, but that did not happen.
I probably have not told any of you that we have added two wiener pigs to the mix here. Oh yes. Rosie and Bacon! which one do you think will be sacrificed for meat and which will be having babies and be a 4-H project for jake? lol Anyhow, Wilbur will not survive this pig yard. :(
Kenzie and a friend greased Bacon and put him into the cage that he and his friend Rosie had fit easily into when they came about two weeks ago. I took a picture of him sitting in the small dog pen and he barely fits alone: no way could he and Rosie both fit in there now ! We drug out all of the Extra Tuff boots, and Kenzie's friend, Ally, dawned the old Coast Guard overalls and into the horse round pen everybody went. Chris let Bacon out and about twelve kids descended on him and did he ever run. They grabbed, he escaped. He seemed to enjoy it to tell the truth. The girls turned out to be the winners! The kids enjoyed it so much they let the pig go again and the race was on again. At one point, he squirted out of about six kids who had all piled on top of each other. Pig pile anyone :) I did video tape it and if i can will put it on here. If i cannot and you want to see it, let me know and i will try to attach it, but i am a bit tech-challenged One mom left her flip video camera though and kenzie was supposed to videotape it on that, but how could she when she could not resist and joined in the fun.
What a birthday!!!!! Chris said that Jake could do this same party through high school, and beyond. Apparently boys just grow into men in body only. No big shocker there. :) What a day!
And, the baby slept through it all. Jaylene and i played baby tag with Baby James and he slept in his little bassinet all three hours! During the pig chase janell put him in his baby wrap, so he was there with her...still slept through it all. The only time he has trouble sleeping is when it is too quiet. Such a good baby.
Will try to write more often. Part of the problem in not chattering on here with you is i have begun to write my book. Want me to put it on here? Not sure there is really interest in my past life, which i am basically writing for my family, and then mostly for future family. When they talk about me and wonder how i ever survived the death of my child, when children pretty much define me, i want them to know it was not easy, and it is only by the Grace of God that i did survive such a challenge. Seems like going forward would be a whole lot more interesting than my life before, and certainly not as heavy on the heart to read. So, if you want me to, let me know. If there is enough interest out of the six of you who read this drivel i will. Otherwise, i will just keep on here about kids and animals.
Well, lets try some pics. Nope...will put them on Fb i guess. The pig video turned out great if it will transfer for me.
You know i love you
*j* aka jackie ann
Friday, September 16, 2011
This 'N That
My dear Gma
This afternoon Jim came in with his shirt off! Since he is never shirtless, he immediately got our attention. I sputtered, " Where is your shirt?", I thought janell and i would die laughing. At first we could not figure out why he suddenly appeared half naked, but then we spotted the bulging shirt full of chicken eggs. Oh, it was SO funny, but maybe you had to be there :) He keeps tabs on the chicks and horses now that the kids are in school, Well, we here at home all do. And, we love it.
We have been letting the chickens out to roam the front pasture. They just cluck around and seem so happy. Their eggs turned enormous since letting them free-range, and the shells feel so much harder,
so i think it agrees with them. I just hope our way too friendly eagle stays away. Every once in a while he circles the property.
So far they have been locked in their chicken tractor and lived on, but one of these days
i am afraid somebody will become lunch for him. We worry a bit about the two Maltese dogs running free and wild too. Hopefully, if they feel a big shadow overhead they will run for
cover. Chickens do not strike me as being that smart, but the dogs might be. :)
I always had this awe for eagles until i moved to Alaska. Up there you cannot take a picture of the sky and not get an eagle in the background somewhere.
I loved the crows aka blackbirds aka Ravens in Alaska. I liked their family values. lol So, in the winter, I worried they did not get enough food. Saturdays found me putting cookie sheets
of food out on the back deck railing and then i watched them from the kitchen window. One or two would come, and then away they fly to tell the rest of the "family" that would number in
probably the twenties. We had a swing set in the back yard and a long railing on the porch. They would line up and patiently await their turn. Maybe two would take a morsel each and fly off. Smooth as silk, two would replace them at the feeding trough: totally patient and generous. I found it fascinating to listen to them chat the whole time they ate together. I cannot find a picture of the ravens but here is a pretty good one of a Cordova Eagle.
We had this enormous tree beside the house and about once a week it would be filled with crows. We family, and neighbors, called it their Sunday-go-to-meetin day, and i think we
must have been close on that call; although, I found the sheer number of them, and the noise---omg, the noise--- pretty intimidating. I felt grateful so many of them did not come for the Saturday morning pancake breakfast. I figured they must ascribe to some " decency code" though because of watching their manners, and interactions as they ate on the back porch, and also because of the story i heard about a crow that got killed on main street in downtown Cordova.
It seems that ( the rumor is now hundreds) crows lined the tops of the buildings all the way down the street , on both sides of the streets, and they screeched and
carried on for some time over the dead body lying in mid-street. Eventually all the scary commotion suddenly ended, and they all abruptly left. The ppl in town figured they held a funeral for their dead relative. I believe it. I find it very plausible from watching them for long periods of time. They amazed me, and the grandkids, as we watched the Saturday morning pancake breakfasts from the kitchen window.
Once, i decided to clean out the freezer and get rid of some of the freezer-burnt salmon. We caught tons of fish in Cordova. We canned most of it, but the freezer held a lot too. Anyhow, i
cut some up into many chunks, but i did put out one huge filet, from probably a fifty pound salmon. They seemed elated with the change of menu, but so did a Seagull! They would not take him on though, and, and he would not share. He would fly at them when they came close, and they retreated. He pecked away at the whole slab of salmon, as they had been doing but they had taken their usual turns with each other. He did not ascribe to that kind of behavior. All seemed very unfair, and then swoosh............................. an eagle swooped down and took the whole filet then flew off into the
horizon. Jonathan Seagull left dejected. I've not known anybody who ever came out a winner with an eagle. This guy crashed the party and when he left they all departed. He seemed enormous as he flew in for his prize. I had never seen an eagle, before or since, so up close and personal. Here is a picture of Chris, Kenzie and jake about ten years ago in Cordova.
We had a cat when we moved to Eagle country in Cordova, Simba had traveled with us from Oregon, and that young cat seemed to instinctively understand that outside-the-house self-preservation required he immediately run under the seats that ran around the deck when he wanted to venture outside. He never laid out in the sun like he did in Oregon. Of course, we saw precious little sun in the rain forest of Cordova anyway. :) He would run under the built-in seats, as i said, then sprint for the trees where he found protection, and could hunt his own prey in peace, well relatively speaking :( . I believe he instinctively knew that when you live by the sword, you might just might die by it. Eleven year old Simba never made it to Montana because he did not like the way our household turned upside down when we moved to here. Guess he is just like all us old folks who do not think much of change. He moved to the field across the street in Wasilla and he may be there still because, though we had been together for probably eleven, or more, years he would not forgive us for the upheaval in the house. I told the new owner of the house in Wasilla about him, so i hope they will take pity on the old curmudgeon. :( Simba looked and acted like Garfield, so that gives you an idea of his personality. He was a heck-of-a-hunter though, and we could use him here. I try not to think about him now, dang cat! Anyhow, i don't care much for eagles anymore. They seem selfish and only out for themselves and very dangerous. And it seemed like they perched everywhere in Alaska keeping an eye on our lives and planning to move in on any mistake where they could capitalize. I did not trust them, nor should i have, then or now. They seem to answer to no one, and be for no one but themselves. I don't like that in people and i guess i don't even tolerate it in birds!! I learned a lot watching out the back window in Cordova; like when the wind blows a hundred miles an hour and stuff flies through the air with the greatest of ease, if it is Thursday, you call it that, not a hurricane, and i learned that crows care about one another? They seemed more civilized than many ppl i know :)
You know i care for you Gma and how blessed are we to have one another. Oh, on a different slant.... jim and i went to get our Montana Drivers License the other day and they came in the mail
today. Guess what! I look just like you! How did that happen?! I could not believe it was me, it looked so much like you. Usually my hair is shorter, and i think that made the difference, but it really shocked me to know i look like you. But it makes sense i guess. I am my father's daughter. And, i always knew i looked like his sister and you are their mother, so there ya have it. Speaking of Family Trees, we all hope Baby James will look at us with brown eyes in the very near future. We may have a chance. He certainly does not look to be blue eyed at this point. Cross your fingers! Caleb needs a sibling that looks like him! I always thought brown eyes would be dominant, but not in this gene pool!
Well, i must go. You know i love you
ttys
loving you still
your
*j* aka jacqueline
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