Changes are a comin

Dear Gma,

Nothing stays the same ever, and accepting change becomes harder as age creeps up on you. I wondered about this before we ever moved to this mountain town, but i feel like change keeps us younger because we must stay a part of the action, as compared to just sitting back and watching the parade roll by. I suppose an argument exists for just watching the parade, but my life is more like that Dixie Flyer ( to quote Travis Tritt), and i just never resist a ride, much to my husband's chagrin. This new change? The kids are moving to the other side of town.

So, we moved to this property because i fell in love with it on the internet, and we had all the plans set as to how all nine of us would live happily ever after right here, but living in two different houses, you understand. I envisioned children on my knee and jim saw himself building toys in his workshop. But, as somebody once said, "... men plan while the gods laugh..." I thought about this when the underwriters told us we had to tear down the house they were to live in. However, we keep moving: sometimes forward, sometimes back, and sometimes a bit more laterally.

We lived a great summer here, and i have no doubt winter will just bring more wonderful life, but the kids are going to move to their own property, so they can, "...have more space..." I can certainly understand that. In the summer, five kids can be shooed outside and they can find their " spaces" and create their little reality games, and basically just thrive, but in the winter, in a one room cabin in the basement, well,i myself, would find it nearly impossible to survive.

Janell has always talked about the wonders of living in a one room cabin though, and though she and i differ greatly in what makes us content, i thought she could do it, and maybe out in the deep woods, alone, she could have. I have been so content with them coming and going. I love their noises...well, most of them, lol, and i love listening to all the kids work their way through what life throws at them. However, multi-generational families, like the Waltons, living in the same house ended for some reason because you seldom hear about it anymore, and when you do, it usually ends ugly. So, for me, doing this grand adventure kind of balanced out with a bit of fear and trepidation. I still can barely believe we tried it, especially with the one house scenario, and imo, we have pushed this situation beyond what any of us thought possible. It is not like we all perfectly mesh personality wise. I give a lot of credit to the fact we are all praying people. That one action probably carried us through the last five months of relative harmonious living.

I think we are a lot like the Waltons, in many ways, but the Walton show dealt more with the kids than the adults. We watched the young dad struggling, but never much about the older generation. They simply tagged along never interfering and always content and jolly. ( well that might be pushing it for the Gma :). Those older folks never offended anyone and everyone just went along making their way in life doing the best they could with what they were given and giving thanks for even the meagerness of it all. And, so have we, but facing winter, reality feels like maybe we are too close for comfort, and above all, our relationships need to be protected from the devil playing with our individual needs and greeds. Yesterday as i read in the Bible, searching for peace as they plan their move away from us, God again gave me a verse to hang onto. Why does He do that with me? I know the verses i get might be out of context but they always just fit so perfectly. This has been going on for forty years of my life. Let me tell you how this happened this time.

I am sitting in the car while jim went into the store and there sits my Bible on the seat and i said, " Lord i need peace in all this. I need to not worry and i need to not grieve their leaving, and i reach for my falling apart Bible one more time. I open it and i read, "...For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one, and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall..." (Ephesians 2:14) AMAZING isn't it? I am so grateful that my Lord and i have this way of communicating. This is why the Bible means everything to me. It all started way back when i found the verse, " ... It is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives within me..." and since i did not want to live anymore, i thought, " why not..." and so it has gone over all these years. Even in the little things this often works for me; although, i would not call these kids moving out a little thing for me, but i know i can trust that this is best for all of us because we all are praying people and in this way we stay close to His Will.

So, the Younger Wolfeden has found a place where they can spread out a bit... 18 acres... so the horses, chickens, pigs, dogs, and kids will be leaving and can't you just feel the hole in life they will leave behind? If you listen, you hear.... nothing... if you look, you see not much , but maybe the smells will reveal a life continued in sweet fashion .... maybe you might smell bread baking again or cookies, and oh yes, the smell of live chickens albeit, different ones, as we old people readjust. God is so good. Let's go with the flow and see how it all works out. My gosh they will only be across town! It's been feeling like another state away, but that will change as we settle in, don'tcha think? :) Just thought i would update you. I know you understand.

You know i love you,
your
jackie ann